Issue 17: “The World Is Designed For People ‘In The Average’”

... and it sucks. A few thoughts on"Before 30", writing stereotypes, and an interview with Aisha Ife!

In December, I watched a Nigerian television show on Netflix called “Before 30”. In a nutshell, it’s a show about how four Nigerian women navigate societal pressure before 30. On the face of it, it’s attempting to tackle a huge societal issue, which is commendable. Before I began, I knew it was going to annoy me. Still, I gave it the benefit of doubt. I had just finished working for the year and I had no looming submissions to work on.

I enjoyed the show to an extent. It mirrors reality — if you define reality in a very narrow sense. I was however uncomfortable with the narrow, one-dimensional characters and the single focus on getting married before 30. Basically, it got too lost in the stereotype it was trying to zoom in on. PSA: I have a bias against stereotypes. And to clarify, the stereotype here is: women’s desires are limited to marriage and men. Because I had just written a story that played on a trope around relationships and had gotten similar feedback — one of my colleagues had said “it missed the mark on an excellent joke” and that “the themes explored were a little problematic” — I started thinking about how to write stereotypes.

Stereotypes are oversimplified and one-dimensional. Unfortunately, we use them regularly. Very recently, I came across this quote from Ms. Chimamanda: 

“I don’t start out writing to challenge stereotypes. I think that can be as dangerous as starting out to “prove” stereotypes. And I say “dangerous” because fiction that starts off that way often ends up being contrived, burdened by its mission. I do think that simply writing in an emotionally truthful way automatically challenges a single story because it humanizes and complicates. And my constant reminder to myself is to be truthful.”  – From an interview with Parul Sehgal at Tin House

There's an art to stereotyping when you create. The rules are different according to form, but I quite like the idea of simply starting with the truth like Chimamanda says. When you do this, you realise how very complicated people are, how very complex your characters should be.

If I wanted to prove or disprove a stereotype about how all pastor’s kids are rebellious, I would attempt to step into the shoes of a pastor’s kid, think about his childhood and what it was like going to church. Think of all those morning devotions when he’d rather be watching Cow and Chicken, or the missed opportunities to go to Ikoyi club with his classmate because his mum thinks clubs are sinful. Maybe I’d also show him flipping through his bible on the Friday he heard his brother had cancer. Or show him hit the bible against the board of his bed, bang his fist into the wall, bleed because it’s all so frustrating I wouldn’t dive right away into his teenage years, the parts where he joins Kolapo, his older neighbor from upstairs in Baba Ijebu or the times they went to Iya Risi’s to drink Chelsea from sachets.

I hate using white gifs, but this is apt.

Human beings are complex. Reality is complex. The key thing to ask is: what new or different angle are you bringing to this narrative? For tropes, it’s just as complex. Here’s an article that explains the different ways to go about it. You can also find Susan Sontag’s explanation of how stereotypes imprison us here.

Basically, what I’m saying is stereotypes are dicey. 

That said, if “Before 30” releases a second season, would I watch it? Yes. I love bad TV.

Speaking of stereotypes, someone whose work I enjoy, that deliberately embraces a lot of inclusivity and is multidimensional, is Aisha. Aisha’s art is delightful in many ways, especially the way it represents all kinds of people, and her photography, it’s real. Her project on acne is simply amazing, you should check it out. I love that she intentionally does this, so I asked her a few questions about her work.  

Give me a bit of context on how you went into photography.

I started taking my photography skills seriously when I changed my phone in 2017. Every random photo I took seemed to look really nice. Discovering my photography skills came at a point where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life anymore, I was in my final year in the university studying civil engineering, something I had always wanted to do and I suddenly stopped wanting it. 

At that point, I wasn’t considering being a photographer, I just enjoyed taking photos, so I kept shooting anything I found interesting. I wrote about my photography journey in 2019 here. 

So you’re basically self-taught. Mad. 

Yup. I’m self-taught. I’m a nerd and I like to know how things work so I read a lot about photography, how cameras work, composition styles. At the point I started reading these things, I didn’t have a camera to practice with; I kept shooting with my phone. I’ve been able to get better with practice, if you keep doing something over and over, you’ll get better at it.

What challenges have you faced?  

They’re mostly money-centered, to be honest 😂. Photography gear is costly. I might have grown faster if I had access to the things I have now when I started. Another challenge is getting people to notice your work, especially as an introvert. With social media, you have to keep being active to get noticed. I don’t like being on social media often so it’s sort of a problem.

Tears. I feel you though. So what keeps you going?

Some of my motivations are creating beauty and getting better. I love creating beautiful things, I love looking at things I create and marveling. That inspires me to do more. I also like getting better, it makes me happy to grow. 

Who are the creatives that inspire you? 

Haneefah Adam, Itaysha Jordan, Ayobami Ogungbe, Niyi Okeowo, and many more people. Creative people, in general, inspire me. It’s amazing how people can make the most amazing things out of random things, how people can spin stories or make beauty out of things you’ll least imagine.

At this point. I must acknowledge the elephant in the room. Photography, illustrating, handmade notebooks. How do you do all of these? Do you have more than 24 hours? 

I think I take being able to multitask to the extreme with everything I do 😂. My business has been there longer than my photography, so I’ve had a routine for it for a long time. Very recently I’ve been able to delegate tasks relating to my business. That has improved my life a lot.

Sometimes, I’m not sure how I handle everything but I make sure to never take on more than I can handle at a time. I love peace of mind and if a job/gig is going to take that away, I probably won’t accept it.

It’s also why my illustrations are a hobby, I enjoy handling them at my own pace without deadlines. Unwinding often also helps me stay sane, I like to read books, watch Netflix, and doodle, I started painting recently!

Talking about your illustrations, I absolutely love how inclusive you are with them. Is it something that comes naturally to you or is it some kind of a problem you are choosing to fix?

Thank you! I think it’s both, it comes naturally to me and I think it’s also a problem that needs to be fixed. It feels like the world and its processes are only designed for people “in the average” and that sucks. I want people to be able to see themselves in my illustrations and feel represented. With my images, I have a thing for not retouching people’s skin in an unrealistic way.

People don’t look like dolls and we shouldn’t be propagating such negative ideas

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That is so true.

If you’d like to find out more about Aisha, check out her website.

Thank you for allowing me in your inbox, today and every Thursday. It means a lot that you read and share my letters. I feel so privileged that I can snatch moments out of my Thursday to share some thoughts with you. Today was especially upsetting, so I really needed to write this letter.

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Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next Thursday.