There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil things and those who see evil things and don't try to stop it.
Well, hello!
I was watching ‘Mean Girls’ today — mostly for nostalgia than for any life lessons — when the statement above made by Janis came up. Picture this if you haven’t seen it before: There’s the (main) mean girl and her clique. A new girl (Lindsay Lohan) has been invited to join the clique, but she’s already friends with dorks (Janis and co) who have suffered in the hands of the mean girl in the past. Janis wants the new girl to ‘avenge’ the evil the mean girl did to her. New girl is skeptical because New Girl is ‘Good Girl’. Janis explains why New Girl needs to do it. Basically, it's not enough to claim to be a ‘good girl’ — you must do more to counter evil to actually be one.
I found this statement very interesting, especially in light of conversations around oppression, privilege and allyship that have been ongoing (or increased) around the world and in different stratum of society in the past few weeks. I don’t know if there are only two kinds of evil people in this world as Janis says. What I do know is doing nothing in the face of evil would never qualify as good — in fact, it makes you evil. So when you don’t report that abuser, or when you do nothing or say nothing about the discrimination members of a marginalised community in your office or other social setting face (especially when you have the power to do something), you’re part of the problem.
This leads me to allies. I haven’t been able to put a pin on the definition of a good ally. With good reason: time and time again, allies of marginalised communities have proven to be superficial, complacent and have actively participated or continue to actively participate in oppression. But I think anyone who wants to be a good ally must listen. If you’re outside a community, you probably will never know what it feels like to be oppressed in that particular way. However, if you listen to understand the struggles the community face, you’ll (most likely) eventually understand their problems.
There’s an example in slut-shaming and victim blaming. A few years ago, these were very common. It was as simple as asking: ‘what was she wearing?’ Today, while these values remain, a lot of it has been unlearned through listening.
Next thing to remember is: the conversation is not about you, so don’t make it about you. A Guide To Allyship is a good resource. PSA: None of this is limited to being a woman. From LGBTQ to people with physical disabilities - the list of communities is endless.
What I’m Reading And Watching
I took a leave this week. At the start of the year, I was really looking forward to vacationing in some other part of the world, but here we are. Instead of scenic views of the beach, the breeze in my hair, sand at my feet, margarita at my lips, I’ve been rewatching classic noughties and 90s movies: from Mean Girls to Legally Blonde. It’s surprising how even 2009 makes me warm, fuzzy and transports me to a simpler time. On my list, I have Ghost Of Girlfriends Past, Made of Honour, Mama Mia, Clueless. These are available on Netflix.
What I’m reading? Old Commonwealth prize winning stories.
What should I be watching/reading? Tell me.
Love, Ops.