Hey you,
The past week has been a struggle. Covid-19 fatigue, lockdown blues, boredom and just good ol' lethargy. When will it be over? No idea. My anxiety has piqued again and it's tiring. Let's not even get started on the dreams. Still, I'm grateful to be here now and for small wins. If you have any survival tips, please share because my tired est fatigué.
As an aside in a gloomy week: Mr Ope and I celebrated a small first date anniversary. I'm a sucker for traditions, so we (read I) decided to recreate our first date in a sense: movie marathon and lots of food. It was precious. You should see Casablanca if you haven't seen it yet which is what we watched and what I re-watched, half crying because I'm a sucker for romance.
I remember that first date like it was yesterday. Technically, it was a third date and an umpteenth meetup, but that was when we (I) knew. There are moments and days like that - they define things, break things or build things and marking them is acknowledging their existence and preserving their memory. So there, another tradition in my bucket of traditions. These traditions — like spending Salah at Lekan’s or when my family spent every New Year's at my grandparents — contribute to a much needed sense of comfort and belonging.
I've been thinking about a lot of other things too. Literary Twitter has been a mess in the past few weeks. There have been tons of upsetting slash interesting takes from people that you and I held (or hold) in high esteem. This made me think of how being a celebrity or public figure changes you. To become successful or influential in the limelight means you're constantly under scrutiny. You might say a lot of right things, but if you talk too much, you're bound to slip. How does one navigate all of that?
One is the left shoe and the other is the right. They are the same but not interchangeable.
Tayari Jones, An American Marriage
Then there's the other bit: doing what's right versus gratification and other stories. Why should you sell yourself in order to protect or defend a lie? Maybe things are more complicated than this one simple sentence. Because I've been reading Tayari Jones' An American Marriage and watching Jane The Virgin, I recognise even more than before the complexity of life as mirrored by fiction. If anything, both provide different perspectives to life, debunking simplicity. Still. Life might not be simple, but the truth is.
How are you?
Deep breaths, it'll be over. Eventually. ❤️
Awwww this was lovely to read! Happy "first date anniversary" 😊❤. And yes, I am extremely tired of this too, all of this- this period, it's gotten so bad that I think even when it's over, I'd still feel the same way I feel now. But i'm trying to be very hopeful and maximise this time still :).