Putting Myself Together
A few days ago, I listened to a podcast on why we yawn and heard the word pandiculating; it's that thing that happens when you wake up, stretch, close your eyes and yawn. Then there was schadenfreude - pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune - I can't remember which essay or podcast I last saw or heard it, but here’s Nerdwriter’s essay on it. Thinking about these two words on my commute to work made me realise just how much we learn. It's great right? Maybe a little too much, especially if you haven’t learned how to streamline the amount of information you consume based on relevance.
My first one month at Z! has been a surreal experience. A lot of the “why” is hinged on a promise I made to never write for media after a short stint in my final year of university where I worked for a company that risked quality over quantity. It wasn't just this; as a storyteller, I wanted to be able to tell stories that mattered to me, but this job in media didn't give me that opportunity. So I wrote it off and joined traditional publishing, 2 years later.
(Meanwhile, in between, I went to law school. Apart from the rubbish pride being a lawyer comes with, and all the “useful” information now stuck in my head from cramming and turning my drafts to nursery rhymes, this in between period is a time I regret. As a person who hates the word “regret” and what it connotes, I’m in a conflicted position. But I can’t help myself; half the time when I think back to law school, I frown: it didn't give me the opportunity to learn enough outside of law, and that’s my grouse.)
Back to this being a surreal experience: I've had to learn a lot in a month; I'm still learning. It's exactly the same role in Ouida, but the game is a lot different — in an adrenaline-pumping type of way on some days, and on some others, in an exhausting way. I'm now going to mention a few things I've learned which I think are useful not specifically within the job but to everyday life.
Content might be king, but context is definitely queen. Everything should be interpreted through some context, and context here can mean different things — anything the term connotes.Context is important because it helps you communicate your point of view clearly, making it easier to understand.
Goals: Between secondary school and university, you must have heard every cliche quote about setting goals. Including “It’s not a dream until you write it down,” etc. Organisations, not excluding Zikoko prioritise KPIs — take them as creed; your goals in effect. And it’s cool because someone can hold you accountable, but you can also hold yourself accountable. In your personal life, you mostly have to hold yourself accountable. That’s why it was probably easy for you to quit gyming on the 7th day of January without consequence. But what if we run our lives a little like businesses, and take ourselves as seriously as we did our jobs?
Everyday before bed, I reflect on my personal and career goals, and what I did during the day to get closer to them. I think about how badly I’m doing and importantly what I can be doing better. These little moments of reflections before I sleep (a habit I’ve had since time immemorial) are my best moments of the day. PS My life goal is to be a sugar girl and a yoruba auntie at once.
You're not that special: I’ve always thought I was special, no jokes. I thought that my school smarts, and “luck” with things like competitions was because I was special and a god doing special things for special people made special things happen to me. This might have made me some type of way with my expectations and demands from life. By some type of way, I mean entitled. I’m still learning and unlearning. In a way, it’s self sabotage. It includes attributing any little success to luck and not to hard work, and underrating achievements for the same reason.
I learned other things, including not being afraid to say “I don’t know” and asking questions. The truth is, for the first time, I can see the future clearly — well not exactly, I exaggerate, but all these things I’m learning are all towards one thing: Putting myself together and that's exciting to say the least. Remember that astronaut you saw up there? Well, that's me.
Today’s letter was inspired not only by self, but by Jamaica Kincaid who wrote this lovely essay on putting herself together, on her twenties and writing career.
I was in a not-so-good mood all day (nobody’s fault, just hormones), and commute home killed it. So I’m ending this letter here, without more on my weekly reads; I hope you had a better start to the month than I did. I’d have preferred not to write, but consistency is actually princess. Bad joke? Tell me about your month: wins, losses and your goals for the next one month. I’ll be happy to read from you.