Issue 22: It Won't Always Matter
Half a review of Sally Rooney’s Normal People, comparing it to Namaste Wahala and a brief note on getting started because your worries won’t always matter.
Are there too many novels and movies about love or do I have to broaden my reading and watch list?
On Sunday, I saw Namaste Wahala and as of last night, I was halfway into Normal People, Sally Rooney’s bestseller, now also an Irish Drama on BBC. Normal People is cheesy in the way love stories are — not in the same way Namaste Wahala, the Bollywood meets Nollywood movie (Indian boy meets Nigerian girl) movie that trended over the weekend, is.
There are meet-cutes and there are well-executed meet-cutes. I probably don’t have a good taste in movies (actually, I don’t. I watch Friends over and over as if my life depends on it), but when it comes to storytelling, I know a thing or two. And there were one-too-many scenes where the cheesiness of Namaste Wahala spilled into something gooey. For the most part, it felt like the romance wasn’t well grounded and while it’s unfair to compare across genres, even with similar themes and narratives, this is one of my favourite things about Normal People: the romance feels well thought out, original, in only the way that a story can be.
The meet-cute story where Connell, the popular boy from school, falls in love with Marianne, the rich, social outcast, is in fact not new. Neither is falling in love with someone who doesn't belong to the same race as you do (as is the case in Namaste Wahala). Both are complicated in different ways, but Normal People has layers of depth (from identity to class to economics) that stay with me. There’s something so sticky and bittersweet about the beginning stages of Connell and Marianne’s affair, something reminiscent of teenage years, where life revolved around school, being cool, boys, and parents that make the book unputdownable.
As a teen, I always felt that my problems were larger than life. This feeling was reasonable on some occasions — body-shaming isn’t something an adult should deal with, much less children just coming into themselves. A lot of teenagers have to deal with this and much worse. In Normal People, Connell and Marianne are imprisoned by the rules of their social world. He shouldn’t be seen dating someone like her. It doesn’t matter that he loves her. The social rules are more important. Because of this belief, Connell asks another girl out to some kind of party their school hosts, determined to show that he doesn’t have anything to do with Marianne. This tears their relationship apart. Fast forward to a few months: Connell finds out that the friends who he tried to hide his relationship with Marianne from had always known they had some kind of sexual relationship.
I’m still reading Sally Rooney, and now, writing to you, but this one thing has stood out for me so far: it won’t always matter. What you’re worried about right now would most likely not matter in a few weeks, months, or years. Normal People is many things and a story of growth, how we evolve: high school to college, a change in friendship dynamics, etc. None of it will always matter.
Sally Rooney might have been subconsciously making a case for loving freely, in the open, in spite of social and economic differences, but I’m making the case for doing whatever you want or need to do right now, disregarding what anyone is going to say about it because, in a little while, it won’t matter.
A few days ago, I listened to this podcast about learning a new skill when you’re older. This can be pretty daunting. We’re less likely to want to look foolish or make mistakes, the older we get. But foolishness is temporary, no? And like, you’ll eventually laugh about the entire thing, won’t you? Isn’t that how it always happens? I wonder if these feelings might stem from not properly appreciating growth. There’s an ongoing conversation about Millennials vs Gen Z that is just so hilarious, but beneath all of it, I wonder if we’re not fueling the stigma around getting older.
Things I enjoyed this week
I’m not sure what I’m writing about next week. But finger’s crossed that it’s something good. Don’t forget to like, comment, share! Have a good weekend!