Issue 7: A Note On Joy
A short letter curating all the important stories you need to read this week
One of my favourite forms of storytelling is the personal essay. Every single time my mind is on the brink of chaos, I ground myself in story after story for the joy that comes after. It’s stunning how unique experiences can feel universal. Personal essays which are a part of creative nonfiction have a power of their own (when well written/conveyed). They provide a view of the world that you may not have properly articulated/seen/related to. That’s why the James Baldwin quote is important: your story is more than you. More on this in my creative writing handbook which you can buy here.
Aside: Do you know how difficult it is to remember the things that give you joy when you're depressed? They become non-existent. It's so difficult I scheduled a short letter to myself in September 2019 to be delivered in a few days, reminding me of the things that give me joy, should I be in the same place I was when I wrote the letter.
1.
Grief is a cruel kind of education. You learn how ungentle mourning can be, how full of anger. You learn how glib condolences can feel. You learn how much grief is about language, the failure of language and the grasping for language.
Read Chimamanda’s ‘Notes on Grief’ in which she writes about losing her father and her relationship with him. It’ll wreck you, but read it.
2.
And I have learned that my image, my reflection, is not my own.
Read ‘Buying Myself Back When does a model own her own image?’ by Emily Ratajkowski. Something to make you mad. It asks the question: when does a model own her own image? She writes about the men who took (and used) her image and demanded (not in same words) that she buy herself back.
3.
One of my favorite places in the world was beside him, under his warm arm, the color of deep, dark river water.
Read Jesymn Ward’s ‘On Witness And Respair: A Personal Tragedy Followed By A Pandemic’ in which the author writes about losing her beloved husband even before the peak of the pandemic. It’ll remind you of how fickle life is. So devastating and yet so beautiful.
4.
Spending time with her, I’m reminded that so much of what we consider a happy, successful life is largely made up in our own minds, and often the product of ego and lack of fulfillment in other ways. She wants an array of simple things, but they are joyful: walks in nature, naps in the afternoon, a delicious treat. It reminds me that humans need all those things, too, now more than ever.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone on Twitter about [the increase in] pet culture. I want to write this essay. How the pandemic may have forced more people to get pet plants, cats and dogs.
Read ‘My Dog Has Taught Me The Best Way To Get Through The Pandemic: Live In The Now’ by Jen Doll which isn’t as gloomy as the rest of the list, but is just as important. It’s something you may have learned since the pandemic: on living in the moment. But how can a dog teach you that? And what solace does a pet give?
5.
And what is the point of living if you can’t feel anything?
Not a personal essay. I’m watching: One Day At A Time -- shout out to Phidelia for the recommendation. Watch (if nothing else) season 2, episode 9 -- which is what I watched before I started to write to you. It’s a fantastic show; this episode reminds me of where I was mentally this time last year and my very recent desire to write about how our generation is taking mental health seriously. It makes me happy, that more people are going to therapy and seeking help, and that stigmas are being broken(?).
You should've received this letter last night. But substack was being weird. So, here you go. Have a good week(end), you! And remember: