A Short Letter On Discipline
Hello, you,
I hope you’re well? Doing better off than I am? I mean, I’m in a good place right now, so to be doing better than I am, you must be doing extremely well. And I certainly hope you are.
For 32 weeks, (practically two months less than a year) I've written a letter to you every Thursday night. It was my attempt at writing consistently, at sharing my views, hearing from you and just doing something seemingly more than me. And I proved to myself, even on absolutely jetlagged nights, that this consistency of a thing is achievable. But what I still haven't learned is discipline. And it’s hilarious to say, but completely true -- I lack discipline. Sometimes, I think to myself, when I’m ready to slay, and be rich, and be a great writer, and be successful with life, I’ll get around to it — I'll get around to the rigours and hard work that come with that, and stop lazing around. And other times, I’m like, what if the lack of discipline has eaten into me so deeply that there’s no way? It’s the same with losing weight. It’s especially the same with writing. This is me, I’m supposed to be writing a book, but waking up in the middle of the night to write is such a big deal.
So, I’ve struck a deal with myself to be more deliberate and disciplined about living in 2020. You might have seen a hint of this from my last letter to you. I wrote about writing one story a week (which I still haven't finished, but will possibly finish tonight, and if not, failure number one) and reading a book every week (I’ve only just finished reading Buchi Emecheta’s The New Tribe and it’s fantastic). I’m also going to try doing quick reviews of the books I read, target say 20 short stories in a year, x amount of essays etc. It’s going to be a lot of work balancing that with work work, but I will attempt it. 2020 (and well starting now) will be for a lot of getting the work done Am I right? Am I right? This is so important to me because half the time, I feel like everything I have going for me or had going for me was handed to me on a platter of gold, or by doing the barest minimum -- from winning a prize/being shortlisted for a prize/getting into fellowships etc. And also maybe because of the recent rejections I've gotten. I feel as though the harder I work, the madder I can get when I receive rejections. I don't know -- this is a one man theory.
Speaking of, is that Christmas I smell?
I love Christmas — it’s the season, the smell, the reduced traffic, the food. It’s everything. I’m hoping to have the best Christmas ever. Last Christmas, I had a good time reading and writing. I'm looking forward to that this year (now that Ake is a memory and more). Oh and I had such a good time at Ake. I went from being a volunteer twice, to being press, to being team member to being guest and one thing is for sure, I love being behind the scenes. But I guess that's over for me. It's moving forward and onwards and trying to figure out my being more disciplined about the things I'm passionate about.
Well this is me on discipline. If you have any tips, please let me know.
One last thing. My classmates from uni and I are trying to raise money for a friend battling with ovarian cancer. It breaks my heart — especially as a person with burgeoning spirituality. Why do these things happen? I understand death to a large extent, but the otherwise outrageous things that often happen — from accidents to terminal illnesses — those I do not understand. It’s a battle to wrap my head around it, to reconcile God’s love and the pain and so and so. Anyway, this is not about me and my spirituality or how this whole thing breaks my heart. This is about Voke. Please click here and let’s raise some money for her. Thank you
Bonne nuit.